Where Land Meets the Ocean

April 23, 2021

Of all the times I’ve tried to meet you, each one has brought me to the beach. You’re always in my thoughts & out of reach. And I’m only there when I’m lonely.

As a kid, I felt the waves testing me. “How will you fare with this one?” Each wave, asking a question: how much can I endure?

I don’t know the answer, but I remember being broken I remember struggling to paddle I remember praying on the shore.

I remember the sunrise on Fire Island, the empty space on the steps —  I felt hurt when it was stepped on as if no one was really there.

I was an “old soul” of 8 years in pajamas at my grandparents' house in the Poconos the first time I prayed and heard someone speaking in return.

Here, I learned I was “meant to be” with someone, I had not yet met. I’d try and try again to create conditions where this could happen early.

At 30 I gave up looking, focusing on myself and anyone man, woman, LGBTQ, old, new who cared about love and acceptance.

Numbers game went out the window. Temptation was overthrown. I only wanted one thing or nothing. Romance was reserved for my ocean.

Yet, I rarely step into the ocean. I feel guilt-ridden, incompetent. All this time I’ve tried to understand but I couldn’t endure your suffering.

It turns out I didn’t have to. You are larger and stronger than I. You collect our tears, our pollution and still try to create a better world.

All I had to do was respect that. And I’m sorry for trying to change it. I’m happy we have met and to see you enjoy living where land meets the ocean. --Thank you for sharing one of my most popular love poems. I look forward to including Where Land Meets the Ocean, and several other love poems in my first poetry book.